Better
by Viniloversus
Summary: He had been able to resist her before, thinking it a passing fancy. He'd been able to ignore her, to ignore her loveliness, when he thought it was a product of her hormones. It had been easier, easier before seeing her patronus and realising that this was possibly the first and last woman to love him, to truly love him in spite of what he was.


Hellooo, beautiful world! I came up with this little piece about one of my favourite couples of all the series a couple of months ago and after some time accumulating virtual dust on my pc, I decided to give it a bit of justice and finally publish it.

 **Disclaimer: I am not British and I am awfully poor, therefore I am no J. K. Rowling and I have no right to the Harry Potter franchise despite how much I have wished it upon a star :sniff:.**

* * *

 ** _Better_**

 _"And I think you should know this. You deserve so much better than me." – Better Than Me - Hinder_

Remus hears the doorknob to his room in Grimmauld's place turning, the door slowly opening.

He knows that he could close the door; probably with wards that even she would have a hard time getting through. Closing the door was the right thing; it was the thing he should do, but all Remus could do as the door slowly opened and his nightly visitor came in was stay on his bed, immobile, thinking about how much of a selfish bastard he was for not being much more forceful with her.

He turns to look at her, hating himself for doing so; she is barely clothed and her eyes shine with a lustful glimmer as she saunters, impossibly sensual, towards the bed and Remus doesn't think he'd ever seen something more beautiful than her in his whole life. He's positively entranced as she starts to undress in front of him and he hates himself all the more when he is unable to refuse her lips kissing him or her hands touching him. He had been able to resist her before, thinking it a passing fancy. He'd been able to ignore her, to ignore her loveliness, when he thought it was a product of her hormones. It had been easier, easier before seeing her bloody Patronus and realising that this was possibly the first and the last woman to love him, to truly love him in spite of what he was. He had tried to ignore her, he had tried for so long to reject her, but her love was to him like a moth was to the flame and he was unbearably, irrevocably condemned.

He wasn't good for her. He didn't need to be a genius to know that. His life was a mess; he was living in the house of his deceased best friend, with the money that his honorary godson gave him -just how wrong was that?-, he didn't have a job and whatever one he got was always temporary because sooner or later his damn disease kept getting in the way.

She deserves so much better than him; someone who could actually give her all that she deserves, someone who wouldn't subject her to the constant disdain and rejection she will suffer as the girlfriend of a well-known werewolf.

It had become even worse since Snape had so obviously dropped the hints of his condition to his students, therefore banning him from continuing with the only legal and stable job he could get in their prejudiced society and making his condition public knowledge. Before that Remus had been more or less capable of existing in the magical society, safe in the knowledge that just a select few workers from the Ministry knew the truth of his nature. But ever since, he found that even coming as scarcely as he did to any heavily populated magical zone was a nightmare beyond what he could have imagined before. The thought of subjecting her to what he faced each time he ventured outside of the refuge of Muggle life should be enough to force her out of his room, to break her heart and be done with it all and yet... yet… here he is, with her on top of him. He does not deserve her, she deserves better. But he fears himself too selfish, too spineless to truly do what was right by her.

He knew all that, but still, it is difficult to form the words in his mind, much less say them out loud when she is bending over him, her big doe eyes looking at him with such an adoring expression. Still, he does, forcing his lips to move somehow, despite his body wanting no more than for him to remain silent and receive her ministrations. It is an old ritual of theirs, and he marvels at how flawlessly she makes all of his arguments fall apart each time when they seem so solid to him.

"I am so much older than you." He whispers into her hair as she bends further to kiss his neck.

He suppresses a shudder, hating how vulnerable he feels with her and still allowing her to do as she wishes; he knew that he could forcibly remove her of his person but the thought of actually doing so caused him so much pain it left him breathless. His mind is fuzzy and he has to stifle a small moan as her hands play with his nipples, his hands come up and do the same to her and suddenly she moans into his ear, her hands gripping at his arms so strongly that he is sure that there will be bruises there tomorrow.

"I rather like that fact." She replies a little breathless, her hair mussed from her earlier activities and he feels her wicked smile against his skin. There is no trace of annoyance in her voice as she speaks, but he can see that she is indeed annoyed when her hair flares into a deep red. "Remus, for once, would you just skip all the crap you've got to say about yourself and get naked, please?" her tone is somewhat mocking, but not biting.

Still, almost like a puppet on her command he obeys, getting out of his clothes to lie above her, already erect from her attention. He was too weak to go against her, much like he had been to go against his friends when they'd been younger, he had been unable to resist them because they accepted him. She is worse because she is younger than him and she loves him and she is only one but she is capable of commanding him like no other.

"That's more like it," she smiles at him, "I love you." She bites his ear-lobe softly after that and he finds that he can't quite contain the moan that comes to his mouth at the gesture. She knows where to press and how to do it. She knew which days he was more likely to succumb to her, which days were worse for him, better for her. She plays him perfectly; like she would a violin or a guitar, knowing which chords to touch and in which order to do so to get the notes she wanted.

Remus never knew an opponent as formidable as her in his whole life, and for some reason, she seemed fixed upon convincing him of something he knew was doomed to failure from the get-go, and she was doing a damn good job of it too. When they are intertwined like this it is hard for him to remember why, exactly, he should push her away at all, if they fit so perfectly together.

"You deserve so much better than me. I'm too old, too poor... too dangerous..." he mutters softly, almost timidly, and he feared somehow, even when this is something that he has told her several times, that this time will be different and she would run away like she should. She laughs instead; much like she'd done all the other times he tried to tell her this very thing. Usually, she falls silent after this, and he starts to touch her, hesitatingly, but this time is different.

"You know? You're probably right." She says, her tone not particularly violent, but a bit harsh and Remus feels his back tense as her eyes look at him with such a cold look in them that he feels himself freeze over. His fears realised all he waits for is the pain to engulf him as she did what she should have done a long time ago. "I could probably find myself someone rich, someone a lot more attractive and perhaps even someone with less baggage than you." She paused, her hand coming up to draw circles on his chest and he wonders when she got this cruel. "Then again, I don't want that someone. I want you, I told you this at least a few hundred times already. And I really really really want to get back to what we were doing without much more of your self-deprecating shit. You see, I'm horny, love, and if one more word about this gets out of your lips tonight I just might gag you and have my wicked way with you for the rest of the night."

He stares at her for one solid moment, wondering what he ever did to find himself such a wonderful, fiery woman who loved him so truthfully, all his doubts leaving him, at least momentarily, as he kissed her fiercely.

"Is that an offer?" The words are out of his lips without his permission.

"It may be." She replies with a wicked smile that makes him shudder as she bent to kiss him once more.

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I always thought that Lupin would be the kind to passively resist Tonks' efforts, I mean, come on look at how he acted with his friends

Well, what do you all think? I mean, don't be shy! You can write whatever you want in that little box down there.


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